not a perfect metaphor

I hate to admit it, but I belong to the Crowley school of plant management. Did you ever read that Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin is taunting the flowers with a watering can? That's me. I yell at them, I threaten them, I try to play their affections off one another. Russian accents especially seem to work, although I have no idea why. Crowley is onto something when it comes to plants, I'm telling you.

Also, the whole "talking to plants" thing seems to scare the neighbors. That's always a bonus :)